Personal

The Reverend David Safar

January 3, 2000 November 18, 2021 / Personal

I am a minister in the Universal Life Church (hereafter abbreviated ULC.)

Many of my friends are too. It’s a very liberal church, with one major tenet: Everyone should do that which is right. The church makes no attempt to say what is right and what is not; simply that whatever is right, everyone should do it.

Anyone may be ordained in the ULC, simply by requesting it. Any minister may ordain anyone they choose as another minister, and ordinations are available by mail-order and on the Internet. Many people feel that this makes the ULC less of a church, and that its members are simply trying to capitalize on the benefits bestowed upon the clergy. That is not why I am a member, and I wish to make a record of what my membership and ordination mean to me.

I don’t believe that being a minister is about the title, the material benefits, or even God or religion. Indeed, my atheistic nature prohibits such a view. I do believe that a minister should be one who represents what is good in the human race. I believe that a minister’s duties should be to promote goodness in the world, and to spread kindness, goodwill, happiness, and new ideas to everyone within their reach. In short, I believe that a minister’s job should be to *ad*minister good to anyone and everyone who is willing to receive it.

Being a minister is a reminder to me that I can be a positive force in the world. I do not think of myself as a religious or holy man, or as someone who is in any other way inherently better than others. I think of myself as just a man who wishes to improve the lives of others, as well as his own.

I don’t always live up to this. To be honest, I rarely personify the good of the human race. But by remembering my status as a minister, I believe I can improve myself and come closer and closer to being the person I want to be.

Each of us has the potential to positively affect every life we come in contact with. It costs nothing to be kind. But in my opinion, a genuine home-made minister counts for just as much as one who was trained by a religious institution. What counts is the willingness and ability to bring good into the lives of others. May this thought remain in my mind ’til the day I die.

When I Grow Up

January 3, 2000 November 18, 2021 / Personal

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Well, it’s a bit late for that, as I’m already grown up. Instead, I’ll answer the question of what I want to be when I grow old.

I want to be a friendly old man. I want to be the eccentric old guy who’s been everywhere, done everything, and has lots of exciting stories to tell. I want to have seen the world. I want to have worked in computers and in customer service; as an engineer and as a bus driver; as a systems administrator and as a bartender. I want to know all about modern technology and ancient cultures, to know the mysteries of the atom and of the Incas. I want to have in-depth knowledge of everything, and the good sense to know when to put that knowledge to use and when it’s just boring chatter. I want to have been published, and to have performed music for an audience. I want to have made a name for myself as a philosopher, and to have spent time sitting on the floor playing with toys. I want to have had my fingers in everything, and to have had fun along the way. I want to have loved, and to have been loved. I want to have raised at least one child, and at most two. I want to have, at different points in my life, owned a mansion and multiple cars and perhaps a corporate empire, and to have owned nothing, living on the street. I want to have been an ideal citizen and a wanted criminal. I want to be everyone and everything. I want to be a composite product of the human condition. I want to be humankind.

P.S.: I had better get started!

Room To Think

July 1, 1998 November 18, 2021 / Personal

(Note: The date on this post is an approximation. I know the post was written in 1998, and I believe it is in the correct order with respect to other posts, but the exact date it was composed has been lost to the mists of time.)

I need some room to think.

“What IS he gibbering on about?” I can hear you asking. “Thinking is a purely internal process, with no external requirements whatsoever.”

Well, that’s not quite true. You see, environment affects state-of-mind. Light level and color, sound volume and make-up, and physical surroundings all have an impact on our mental processes. I find, that in my case, having a lot of space is conducive to free-flowing thought process. Light should be clear and bright, and there should be little noise, and what there is should be natural if possible. Additionally, there should be plenty of empty space nearby. This, I propose, is part of the reason why awe-inspiring natural settings tend to encourage deeper thoughts. Besides the seeds of thought that exist there, natural settings tend to be wide open spaces, with plenty of bright, clear sunlight, and natural sounds that tend to fade peacefully into the background, rather than assaulting your ears with the discord of machinery and electroncs.

So, I need room to think. As I look around my bedroom, in which my computer/primary thinking station resides, I see disarray and crowding everywhere. Boxes stand in the corner to a height of 7 feet or more, untouched since I moved into this room, many of them not mine. Blankets are strewn about, and books, diskettes, and CD-ROMs cover the surfaces. Dust is abundant here, and there is barely room to move about. How can one be expected to think in a place where one cannot even walk unimpeded?

So, off I go to clear up some space in here, and perhaps to do something about the dismal lighting. And then, once the room is ready, I can sit back and think about what to do next.

My Personal Philosophy

June 21, 1998 March 27, 2009 / Personal

This rambling is a little bit different and very long. It grew out of an essay I was assigned as the last paper of my senior year of high school. It was a summation of my thoughts on everything, and it was more valuable to me than the entire rest of my schooling combined. I’ve turned it into a rambling so that you can see what I used to think about everything. I have left it intact, typos and all. I no longer agree with everything in here, but it may give some insight on where I came from and how I got to be where I am today.

	   David Safar                                                      6/21/98

	          My Personal Philosopy of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Apologies in advance to: Douglas Adams, Justin the Avatar, Cindy Crawford, Kathleen Duncan, Bill Gates, God, Jessica Godden, Wesley Juel, Rodney King, Andrew Lias, Meredyth Masterson, the people of South Muldavia, Myself (sorry for screwing up your grade, Self,) Grant Naylor, Ayn Rand, Arthur Scholz, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Ilia Shrago, Dr. Spock, Mr. Spock, Ray Stevens, Martha Stewart, and Lyssa Vandiver.

Introduction As this paper is supposed to be the culminating event of my high school career, I have decided to approach it with the same casual, flippant attitude with which I have greeted every other part of my high school career. Upon being asked to write a personal philosophy paper ten pages long, I thought, "No problem. I can do that. God knows I have enough opinions to write a ten page paper on the subject of everything." Now, though, starting on this project the day before it's due, I find myself grasping for words to express my thoughts on so many subjects. So, since I can't write an overview of such a comprehensive paper until the paper itself is complete, I'd better dive into the body of the paper. Come along with me as I explore the following topics: Education; Ethics and Values; Faith and Spirituality; Family and Personality; Friendships and Love; Politics; Race, Gender, and Ethnicity; and Success. These sections will most likely vary in length, depending on how much I have to say about them. Education Well, this was the topic that we started out each year of Middle College with, so I decided to start with it in my paper as well. Education is a wonderful thing, which has fallen under the control of a petty-minded few that we refer to as the government. They have subverted education to their own devious ends, as Jon would say, "the indoctrination of the youth." This single-channel, narrow-minded educational system is illustrated beautifully by the very existence of the Middle College program. If the educational system at large were broad-minded enough to handle the diversity we find in a program like Middle College, then these programs would not need to exist. Many of the goals of America's youth are represented here in Middle College, so for the purposes of this exploration I will be using it as a microcosm of youth at large. Of course, we are not representative of all youth, but rather a particular subset of it, so this picture will not be an accurate portrayal of students at large. However, the educational system should be able to handle this amount of diversity, and its failure to do so proves it inadequate. Any further diversity within the system merely exacerbates the existing problem. Let's look around the room. We see Jessica, with plans to start a subsistence farm. We see Wes, who is thinking about becoming a teacher. Arthur is here, already working in the computer industry, Meredyth, who now works for a JCC day camp, and Lyssa, who recently quit her job as a waitress. Such a range of interests, professions, and goals. Any system which does not take that into account and allow freedom to self- educate, or at least design one's own cirriculum, is obviously not serving the needs of the students, but rather the needs of society, as it sees those needs. You may argue that "the good of the many outweighs the good of the few," but I would be forced to contend that the good of the many is not necessarily what that many believes it to be. In such a case as personal life path, the individual's will must triumph. If it weren't for society - the many - we would not now have the problems of homelessness, mass starvation, pollution, corrupt politicians, epidemic diseases, etc., and a society which spawns such problems must not be allowed to assume control over the individual destinies of its constituent members. Another destructive facet of modern American education is the push toward a degree. Education is a process of self-betterment (or should be, in its pure form) and is not at its most productive when externally motivated. This can be seen in the floundering grades and test scores of our youth. If education allowed for a love of learning and the exploration of one's own interests, then internal motivation would take over and test scores would skyrocket. Like the specialization of labor which is so beneficial to international trade, a specialization of learning would occur, and rather than being judged on their failings (of which everyone has many) students would be judged on their successes. This self-motivated learning would increase self-esteem and produce individuals that will be more effective members of society. And all it would cost society is the loss of ignorant masses. So what exactly am I proposing? I'm glad you asked. I am proposing a free-form educational experience. Not as free-form as Summerhill, but not a rigid bureaucratic school system with more rules than students to follow them, like we have today. I am proposing a school which focuses on finding the innate talents and interests of the students, and gives them the opportunity to expand on those talents. Core classes would consist of English and basic math, with a focus on practical applications of these skills. In early years math class would emphasize monetary transactions. Later math classes might teach students to balance a checkbook or to fill out tax forms. Higher math would, of course, be available for those wishing to continue on. English classes would teach not just reading books and writing essays or journals, but also filling out forms and writing business letters. These two core classes would be required, with three to five elective classes rounding out a student's schedule. Counselors would be available to advise students about which classes might be best suited for them, based on an aptitude test given every two years. The test would measure numerous abilities in addition to traditional academic subjects: musical talent, artistic ability, motor skills, etc. Independent study would be available to all students. The goal here is self-motivated learning, in whatever way works best for the individual. Degrees are nice, but they are a measure of obstinacy, not of learning. If education is to reach its full potential, the concept of degrees must be eliminated, or at least heavily revised. Ethics and Values Ethics and values are very nebulous topics, and difficult to write down in a cohesive form. I suppose the best way to look at this is to answer the question, "What do you value?" From that, the ethical aspect will follow. Those acts which endanger that which you value will be unethical, and those acts which protect your values will be just the opposite, ethical. I value: freedom. knowledge, ideas, and learning. safety. survival. free will. These now need to be ranked by importance, so that general conflicts between them may be easily resolved. Of course, these rankings will not be absolute. Some situations have extenuating circumstances, and not every conflict will be resolved properly under a rigid ranking system. My Ranking (1 is most important, 4 is least): free will survival safety freedom knowledge, ideas, and learning From these, it follows: Limiting another's free will is unethical. Endangering another's survival is unethical. Endangering another's safety is unethical. Limiting another's freedom is unethical. Limiting the availability of knowledge is unethical. Here, free will is defined as one's right to interact freely with oneself, as opposed to freedom, which is the right to interact freely with the outside world. Free will is ranked first because the individual must have the right to choose whether to apply the remaining four ethical statements to the self. Note that this allows the individual to choose not to continue living, not to continue to be safe, etc. Everyone has control over their own personal self. The second through fifth ethical statements protect the free will of others. This is no doubt full of logic errors and contradictions, as it is an exercise I conducted on the spot over the course of the past hour, and it completely invalidates what I had previously written on the topic, which, for academic purposes, is included below. ----- Begin old ethics section ----- I have, within the last year or so, joined an organization called the Wayfarers, who have adopted a system of ethics out of a computer game. Although the source is of a dubious nature, the system itself is admirable. Lately, though, I've come to the opinion that it lacks certain elements. Before I discuss its shortcomings though, I need to give you some idea what it represents. Here is a synopsis of the tenets held in common by the Wayfarers, as stated on the Wayfarers website (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8247/): The Way of the Avatar is a broadly defined way of life in which, generally speaking, a person lives as the embodiment (or avatar) of the Eight Virtues. The Virtues are held by a Wayfarer to be an ideal description of what it means to live a good life, and the Way of the Avatar is the life philosophy of people whose desire to be good is guided by seeking Virtue. These Virtues are derived from the Three Principles, Truth, Love, and Courage. The Three Principles Truth is the objective reality, that which is not false Love is the empathic bond that unites the self to all others Courage is the will to struggle, for beliefs and for others The Eight Virtues Honesty is the dedication never to deceive oneself or another. It is derived from Truth. Compassion is total empathy for all living beings. It is derived from Love. Valor is the courage to stand up for your beliefs, even in the face of physical or psychological threat. It is derived from Courage. Justice is the truth of what is right and wrong in human action and the love of that which is right. It is derived from Truth and Love. Sacrifice is the helping of others at the cost of one's own well-being. It is derived from Love and Courage. Honor is the courage to defend and uphold the truth. It is derived from Truth and Courage. Spirituality is the quest to improve one's own inner being and enlighten and brighten the lives of others. It is derived from Truth, Love, and Courage. Humility is the knowledge of one's place in the world, reached through an understanding of the sanctity of all beings. It is independant of the Principles. Thanks to Justin the Avatar for permission to use this material. Unfortunately, I find myself not thinking of this philisophy at the times when I need it most, and have been considering a number of different reminders for myself, much like the Christian "WWJD" bracelets (to remind the wearer to think, "What Would Jesus Do?") Also, it seems to lack any reference to knowledge, wisdom, curiosity, exploration, etc. Since I have done very little thinking in this arena, and therefore have nothing original to say, I'll have to cut this section short now. ----- End old ethics section ----- Faith and Spirituality Religion is something that people often get very touchy about. If you are one of these people, please skip down to "Family and Personality" below. I think that religion makes an excellent crutch for those who need something to cling to during hard times, who don't believe in their own potential, and those who can't come to terms with the idea of ceasing to exist. As for the existence of a single god multiple gods a single goddess multiple goddesses aliens protrusions into our dimension of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings (a.k.a. mice) any other form of creator or being with a master plan reality any combination of the above I really have no idea whether such things exist, but if someone does have a master plan for everything, I'm pretty sure humankind is such a piddling small detail in ther plan that they haven't got the time to pay a whole lot of attention to what our species is doing, let alone any given person. Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life. -Andrew Lias On the whole, God has never paid much attention me, so I don't see any compelling reason to pay any attention to God. Family and Personality I have learned some hard lessons in this arena over the past five years, which mostly boil down to this: Sacrificing yourself for the future may be noble, but sacrificing yourself for the past is destructive and futile. -David Safar My family is in a bad way right now, mostly due to poor decisions about the care of ailing relatives. The workings of a family can be a delicate thing, too easily destroyed by poor decision making and the failure to accept the inevitable. I have nothing but a bad example to work from here, so I have little to say about it other than what to avoid in matters concerning family. Make no important decisions unilaterally. Take everyone's opinion into account. If a relationship isn't working, fix it or get out of it. Don't stay in a dysfunctional situation for any reason, you'll just make things worse and end up needing therapy (or causing someone else to need therapy!) When setting an example for your kids, be sure to set an example of behavior which is constructive, not destructive. Destructive altruism is a very real thing. Friendships and Love As I write this paper I am struck by how little I know about a number of the required topics. I've been anti-social most of my life, only really bothering to get to know people my own age within the past year. I used to consider myself a hermit within society, who would be better off without other people. This has caused a lack of experience in the area of interpersonal relationships, which, unfortunately for me, a large portion of this paper is about. (Why didn't anyone tell me I'd be graded on my relationships with other people???) As I get older, I realize that I am not a hermit, and that I need human contact. That is probably why MUD is so addictive to me. It helps to fill a void of human contact that would otherwise remain vacant. My solution to this problem of addiction has been socialization. Seeking friendship and love in real life, filling that void with what is supposed to be there rather than a poor substitute, will end my dependence on MUD. (I hope.) So obviously friendship and love are desirable. As for how to get there, I'll figure it out with time and experience. Get back to me in ten years, and perhaps I can write a more developed section on friendships and love. Politics The more I think of politics, the less I think of it. Politics is merely the application of one's personal philosophy (what this here paper is all about) to society. This would seem to go directly against the number one and four rules from the Ethics section, which state that it is unethical to limit another's free will or freedom. However, upon accepting the protection of a society, one agrees to live under its rules, thus using free will to allow the limitation of one's other rights. Thus there is no conflict, as the individual has put themselves into this position. The only catch is that there really isn't much choice anymore. The Earth is now covered by human society and there is no longer a choice as to whether to live within a society, only the choice of which society to live in. This, I am sure, is a temporary condition, and with human kind's expansion into space, new frontiers will open up, allowing people once again to live outside the grasp of civilization. So now let's take a look at some specific concepts within politics. America's representative democracy has been in place for 200 years. The idea is that you use your personal philosophy to choose an individual to represent you. A whole lot of other people do this too, and whoever has the most people wanting them as a representative gets the job. It's more complicated than that (of course!) but that's good enough to make my point. Which is... No one's personal philosophy is going to be identical to your own, so voting in a democracy is an exercise in finding a best-fit for your beliefs: deciding which ones may be sacrificed for the sake of the others. But what of the other, non-democratic systems? I can confidently say that the form of government we have in the United States is the worst form of government there is... Except for all the others. Until one person can be found who is always right, and whose personal philosophy represents that of everyone, no one is fit to be a dictator. A vanilla democracy is unmanagable in todays world, with the number of citizens in even a small country. Communism is obviously flawed, just look at the ex-Soviet-Union. The ex- means "failed." So, we are left with the representative democracy. It's an imperfect system, but it's the best we've got, and we have to live with it until someone comes along with something better. And now, an open letter to a lot of people who have done a lot of mean things to a lot of other people without any good reason. Anyone with delicate sensibilities may wish to move on to the next (and final) section "Success." Race, Gender, and Ethnicity Why is this even an issue? Can't we all just get along? Can't we just stop being extremely crappy to one another? If everyone would just stop screwing everyone else over, a lot more good things could happen. But as long as we keep killing each other, stepping on each other, keeping each other down, beating each other up, and just generally making life suck for one another based on a difference of 10 genes out of 500 zillion, we're never going to get anywhere as a species. Everybody is a little bit different. Deal with it. Preferably without discriminating against anybody or doing any harm to anybody along the way, huh? And the same goes for sexual preference. What somebody wants to do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their own business. When someone tries force themselves on you, gay or straight, thenyou have the right to beat the Hell out of them, and not before then. Got it? Human beings can be so dense sometimes. Success Success is another of the nebulous intangibles which is difficult to quantify on paper. I suppose the only way to truly measure success is by how you feel about your own accomplishments. Due to the human psyche, this can lead to unfortunate situations, however. A 4.0 student who is shattered upon receiving a B on an assignment, or someone who never accomlished anything ever in their entire life could one morning wake up feeling good about themselves for no apparent reason. you never can tell with the human mind. In any case, being happy is what really matters, and I think we've lost sight of this in the rush to become bigger, better, faster, and richer, chasing after a dream which just runs away faster with our every advance. We need to get back to basics and stop comparing ourselves to other people, especially people like Bill Gates, like Arnold Schwarzeneggar, like Cindy Crawford or Martha Stewart. Wealth, strength, beauty, and the ability to make Christmas ornaments out of common household garbage and string are not what we should be judging ourselves on. The yardstick of success is contentment. If you're unhappy, you're not successful, regardless of income, relationships, physical appearance, or anything else. And So This... Is the End! So, here we are, at the end of the trip. 22 hours after it began, it has ended. In a way, though, this trip has lasted a lot longer, indeed it has spanned my entire school career, from Kindergarten on down the line. I've learned more useful information from this one paper than from the rest of the past twelve agonizing years put together, perhaps because this paper is the past twelve years put together. Now I wish I had more time to work on this, to go back and say the things I had to leave out, perhaps to add a new section or two (I have a few choice comments about crime, but perhaps my comments are not appropriate in a classroom environment.) With luck, my motivation will hold out and this paper will find its way onto my web page, any will become a living document, my own personal constitution. (I, the person, of the United (sometimes) Mind of David Safar...) So, off into life, to see how this mindset holds up against the society that it condemns at every other passage. As I always say, finish on a song... Show me the way to go home I'm tired and I wanna go to bed I had a little drink about a hour ago To celebrate Rimmer's death! Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

On the Elusiveness of Personal Satisfaction

March 29, 1998 February 22, 2015 / Personal

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It’s 1998. Do you know where your life is at?

January 1, 1998 November 18, 2021 / Personal

Here it is, the beginning of 1998. In a month and a half I will be 18. In 6 months I will have graduated high school. Despite the fact that to do so is to perpetrate a heinous crime against my native language, I am forced to ask myself: Where am I at? Of course I don’t mean in a physical sense, but in more of a philosophical, rambly sense. I find, however, that where I’m at is not at all where I’d like to be at.

I could recount for you all the ways in which this is true, but I’d rather not, and indeed some of them transgress the boundaries of agreed conversation. Suffice it to say that I am not happy with my level of independence and self-sufficiency. When life has given me lemons I’ve sucked on ’em, just dealt with things, and let bad things happen to me. This is not the way to success, but lemonade isn’t my style. So perhaps when life gives me lemons I’ll make lemonade without sugar and serve it next time I invite life over for lunch. Or fill life’s eye drop bottle with lemon juice. In any case, I’m left with the problem of how to go about changing my situation.

For me, the answer lies in four main goals.

A job.
A car.
A life.
My own home.

The first three can be achieved within the year with a little careful planning and some effort to stick to the plan. The fourth, and the most important, may take a little longer. But these are what I need to acquire before I can truly say that I am happy with where I am in life. I’ll go through and detail what they each mean to me now.

A job.: I need a job. I need the money. It’s not for the objects and possessions that money can buy, however, but for the independence that money can buy. I need to feel that I am able to support myself, that I can survive in the world alone. I need to be able to pay my own bills, to be able to buy my own food, my own groceries, to be able to spend money – MY money – without being accountable to anyone for where it goes.
A car.: I need a car, once again, for the freedom it brings. I need the freedom to go where I need to go quickly, without waiting for a bus or having to rely on someone else for transportation. I need the freedom to be able to leave town and take a vacation when I need one, and to be able to go to other parts of California if I want to or need to for some reason.
A life.: This one is harder to explain, but I’m sure that since anyone reading this is a citizen of the Internet, you’ll all understand that the Internet has a tendency to reduce actual face-to-face interaction with human beings. In my case, I can’t afford it. I need to be around people more, to get used to human beings. Being a hermit was a goal for me when I was younger, but now I find that it’s not as appealing as it was then.
My own home.: Not necessarily a house, not necessarily owned by me, but a place to live that is mine, that I keep up myself, in which there are no TVs on at midnight to keep me awake, in which there’s no one to be obligated to except myself, and in which I can live undisturbed by others when I wish to.

As I said, the first three are goals for the year. The fourth may take longer, but they all need to happen. I’m not the type to make New Year’s resolutions, because everyone knows they never really happen anyway. But it’s the beginning of my 18th year on the planet, and I want to have something to show for it when I begin my 19th year. These goals are not resolutions, they’re serious. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go out for a while. Mom’s driving.

What are we working towards?

March 17, 1997 November 18, 2021 / Personal

Technology keeps advancing further and further, but it doesn’t invent itself. Humankind has put a lot of work into creating all manner of devices to speed up and automate daily tasks, reduce workloads, and increase leisure time. Yet the more advanced we become, the more problems we seem to cause ourselves in the form of stress-related disorders, pollution, and corruption. With all this going on, we have a tendency to get lost in the details of our lives, and pay no attention to *why* the details are so prolific. Think about it. We have a whole system set up, which is referred to by many as the “rat race,” which controls our lives and sustains itself on our efforts to maintain or advance our standing within it.

Think about money. What is money? Technically, all it is is a bunch of little green rectangles with numbers on them. Yet we chase these little green rectangles around as though they were a staple food. These little green rectangles rule nearly every aspect of our lives, when in truth, they are just meaningless scraps of woven fiber that have no value unless everyone agrees that they do. Which, for some incomprehensible reason, everyone *does* agree on. Right now the U.S. dollar is backed by absolutely nothing. Even when it *was* backed by gold, what good is that? If a person is starving, what good is a piece of linen representing x amount of gold going to do them? Gold isn’t edible.

But this isn’t about economics. Not entirely. We have our wonders of technology, our skyscrapers, our space program. And for what? We seem to be going to a lot of trouble to do whatever it is that we’re doing, what with setting up our artificial economies, systems of government, means of inter-continental communications. What is this goal of ours? What is it that we are working towards, that we are willing to subject ourselves to such a bureaucracy? It certainly must be something great, because it sure isn’t survival. Survival can be accomplished without all this, so why go to the trouble unless it’s for something more?